Profanity poser!

Let me firstly clarify categorically that this is no British Museum exhibit, nor papyrus from ancient Egypt.

Students pointed this out on the class wall this morning, but I'd subconsciously ignored them until the size of the text hit me on the forehead.

With no white paint to hand, I had to get into Grafitti mode for this - took me back to my teens and a few proper private reminiscing smiles. Did an initial cover up, but the crafty lot pointed that I'd made it more blatant. After getting to grips with a black marker I ended up with this masterpiece.

Mohammed Ali Aerosol Arabic eat your heart out!

Disclaimer:-
At no point have I invited the reader or mentioned that this is a guess the profanity note.....

Gurjeet weds Harpreet

Spotted this unique legend during the school run. Congratulations and very best wishes to the happy couple :)

Caption comp

Toro tiger thrashing – Liverpool 6-1 hull

“Bluddy targers” hummed the away end
Six in the net by the end lull
Virtuoso Toro’s dazzling hat-trick
As Anfield steamrolled Hull

Early doors saw Geo's volleyed leveller
Feverish Tigers on the Myrrh bile
El Nino shrewdly waltzes for two
Match ball bagged in a short while

Stevie’s strike or cross makes it four
Reds now in no mood for jerkin
Babel’s tapped fifth from Kuyt
Albert’s in no mood for larkin

Over a can of kirk-a-curler
Muse lickle Liam debuting afresh
Tan fast becoming the look of a nunty
And the basements exceedingly nesh

Sir the Reds now six games unbeaten
Eighteen clocked leaving rivals to mull
Humber sorrows in a parnta marld
Whilst Redmen smugly dine in Hull

26.09.09

Number 7
© Emdad Rahman
www.football-poems.com

Renewed appeal for Atek Hussain

Daughter pleads for information regarding brutal murder
Emdad Rahman

The daughter of a viciously murdered Bangladeshi man has renewed appeals for information about a murder committed 15 years ago. The deceased victim Atek, Hussain,(known as Shelim) 32, father of three, was knifed in the chest yards from his front door in Burnels Avenue, East Ham, East London, at 2.30 a.m. on Sunday, September 18th, 1994.


Mr. Hussain, who had just finished working at his restaurant in Croydon, managed to stagger to his home and tell his family that his attackers were “Asian” before collapsing.

Yasmin Hussain is anxiously looking for information that may provide a link or clues regarding the dreadful and fatal stabbing of her Father.

Yasmin described how her late Father after being attacked, had managed to crawl and stagger to his doorstep. Before collapsing, he had been able to tell family members that the attackers were Asian in origin.

The late Mr Hussain had returned home in the early hours after completing his working shift and duties at his family’s restaurant - Warlingham Tandoori.

After arriving home, he was attacked after he had locked his Vauxhall Cavalier and was strolling towards his front door.

His daughter Yasmin is restless; "As I’ve said many times, we cannot and won’t be able to rest until we find out who the perpetrators were that committed this attack on our father.

"Someone somewhere must know something about this incident and we ask them to please help us find our father's killer.I am seeking the help of the East London community to think back 15 years and see if they remember anything that may be connected to this murder.

"It has been fifteen years since our beloved Father’s tragic death and we refuse to give up hope of finally catching the person responsible."

A spokesman for the Murder Review Group said: "Mr Hussain was a devoted family man who worked hard to maintain his restaurant business.

"We now urge anyone who has information about this incident to contact Murder Review team or Crime Stoppers on 0800 555 111.

Victory for Tower Hamlets ESOL

Emdad Rahman
An emergency meeting was called yesterday at the St Barnabas Church, on the junction of Roman Road yesterday to discuss a groundbreaking offer made by Tower Hamlets Colleges Principal Michael Farley.

The meeting attended by 160 supporters of ESOl cut protestors, confirmed reports of an astonishing U turn by the College. After months of lobbying, strikes and demonstrations by staff, well wishers and pupils.

ESOL classes will continue in Tower Hamlets and whilst some teaching staff have opted for redundancy packages, there will be no compulsory redundancies. College Chiefs also gave into demands to curt A level provision from 5 to 4.5 hours.

Tower Hamlets has been the focal point of the UK fight against education cuts, with the eyes of the nation on the borough. The peaceful protests had not been witnessed for over ten years.

"This is the result of 21 days of blood, sweat and tears," said Mark Winter. "This has been a fantastic victory and the most democratic process ever.

"There has been tremendous creativity and energy, " added Winter.

ESOL classes have also commenced at John Scurr Community Centre, though these classes are not a part of the College or officially sanctioned by the institution, and can not be seen as a replacement for the lost classes)

As reported earlier, Tower Hamlets Colleges management had embarked on a series of cuts and forced redundancies to reduce access to education in Tower Hamlets. This in turn would have particularly effect ESOL provision in the Borough. The Senior Management of the College were accused of having treated all their staff with contempt and for a very long time, refused to discuss or delay this action. They also refused to consider the impact that these cuts will have on the local community.

The vast majority of the teaching staff at the college eventually resorted to all out indefinite strike, starting on August 27th, and still going strong this week. “It is Michael Farley's lack of people management skills that has got the College into the mess that it is now in,” said a supporter of the strikers.

“It is clear that he is intends to continue to take an antagonistic approach to his staff, and is willing to provoke a major dispute over just 4 FTE positions (that's 13 people), amounting to approx £250 000 of the College budget.”

A spokesperson said; “Negotiations have finally started to take place, Michael Farley has decided that it might be a good idea to actually talk to us.

“However, it has become increasingly clear that he doesn't understand the dispute, he thinks its about his right to make people compulsory redundant.

“It's not - It's about how he makes people compulsory redundant, all his staff want is the right to be treated with some respect.

“That the values that the college has long been justifiably proud of are protected.”

Ramadan complaints

I have never met a Muslim who has told their non Muslim friend, counterpart, colleague, neighbour to refrain from eating whilst they fast. This is a myth and the feature pictured is very misleading. The responses make me want to throw up. I get worried of the bile directed through the aggressive responses. Muslims can't be responsible for the directives of the PC brigade. Ignorance is no excuse, plus there's so much information on fasting and Ramadan out there. I have personally put colleagues at ease when they have become nervous about eating or drinking amongst those of us who are fasting - "It'll take more than a manky cheese sarnie", is my usual wiseass remark.

Lost Sol

Sven thought he’d pulled the mighty scoop
But was soon very much in the soup
With barely one debut game to recoup
The colossus had left Notts in the loop
Peter Trembling was hardly cock a hoop
On 40k, no one really raised a whoop
With previous, no need for inside poop
Glaring at the matter through a loupe
Jeremiah was unimpressed by the group
Still sure enough to give one the Croup
With someone feeling on the end of a dupe
Will Sulzeer now regroup?
Maybe retire to a condo in Gaudelope

Number 7
© Emdad Rahman
www.football-poems.com

Eid car hire lesson!!!

This work of art deserves a special mention. Don't ask me how the vehicle ended up in that almost snug position. The driver and one passenger scarpered on impact, even though the shattered glass on the passenger side eerily resembled a hollowed out skull on impact shape.

Only divine intervention had prevented a death. On the way home after work, the twisted metal piece was still in the same place. School children and parents walked past gasping, and the copper resembled a committed Museum valuable exhibit gendarme.

Incitement or a bit of fun haiku

nevilles stunts a hoot
Adebayor lambasted
What price parity

Number 7
© Emdad Rahman
www.football.poems.com

Barking Longbridge Muslims show the way forward

Emdad Rahman

In a neighbouring suburb of London significantly rife with racism and the reach of the BNP and far right, Muslim residents of the Longbridge and surrounding wards collective performed Eid prayers together last Sunday.

The special and milestone event, managed on behalf of the community by members of the Longbridge Bangladeshi Cultural Association, attended by young and old, was a fitting finale to the month long Ramadan prayers that had taken place within the same hall.

It was during the month of Ramadan that local Councillor Rocky Gill and Council leader Liam Smith had visited congregants, speaking to them and taking questions before the Taraweeh prayers. Councillor Gill in particular, along with his usual community commitments, has doggedly supported the increasing number of residents in the borough of Barking & Dagenham. The residents, mostly home buyers moving into the area have taken to the erstwhile Councillor and see him as one of their own. This is a spectacular achievement as the community, in most cases is a very sceptical one. This is very much a mark of Councillor Gill’s openness and the community’s willingness to work with him.

This general feeling was backed by Councillor Smith, who boldly announced to worshippers during his visit that; “if he had 51 Rocky Gills on the council,” the borough would be a completely and positively different one.

Councillor Smith also addressed community harmony and the rise of the BNP – he is somewhat qualified, being of Irish heritage and witnessing the difficulties faced by his parents and grandparents in London during the dark days of old.

This is the third time Ramadan prayers have been performed in a hired hall, and each year the number of attendees has risen considerably. Those attending have displayed exemplary conduct, responsibility and commitment and have proved themselves a credit to the borough. During the day of Eid, the heightened sense of unity and togetherness was a magic one and the large jam packed hall was illuminated by the radiant faces of youth and experience. An Imam had been on standby in case there was not enough space to accommodate all in one session and a second congregation had to take place. This in turn was not necessary as the last of the worshippers filled every available nook and cranny. This may however not be the case next year, and several congregations may very well be necessary.

Wherever Muslims have travelled, moved, relocated they have always made it a priority establish a Mosque. This is the hub of the community, the engine room, and has been negatively and wrongfully been painted in recent years.

After meeting with Councillors Smith and Gill it is hoped come Ramadan 2010 or 2011, the Muslim community in Barking will have their own Mosque and community Centre.



As a Taraweeh frontliner and opening batsman during the holy month of Ramadan, I witnessed all these fond recollections for myself. All praises are for Allah, whilst special thanks are reserved for the committee, all volunteers who were there, available, cleaning, serving, laying out and folding mats - with no personal recompense or requests for the whole month. Thanks to the attendees for their support and shining example, and the elected representatives for supporting the community to buoy itself. You are all an absolute credit.

The Eid prayers led by Imam Imran, were nothing short of a historical event. We hope that these efforts are a springboard to improving relationships between Britain’s wonderfully diverse communities. We hope that the steps being taken will foster greater understanding and break down barriers between humans.

We have that we will see strength in our differences. Differences that contribute towards making this Island the greatest place to live on the planet.

The Longbridge Bangladeshi Cultural Association’s community cohesion Eid party will take place in the Drama Hall at Barking Abbey School on October 2009. Everyone is invited to attend the celebration and there is no entry charge.

The Barking Bangladeshi Muslim Trust have organised an Eid Funday on October 11th 2009 at Eastbury School, Wilmington Road Entrance, Barking IG11 9UW. This is a free open event and is open for Muslims and non Muslims.

Bex & The Firm (Nick Love)

Fierce, dogged portrait of hooliganism
Adapted from Alan Clarke's earnest drama
Not a crack unit, more a motley crew
Bunch of louts just lacking a suit of armour

Playing to the funky tunes of The Gap Band
With Jam, Kool & The Gang
Donna Summer and Tears For Fears
Tainted Love belts out with a clang

Nick Love crafts a flash of scorching neon
1980s London sets the scene
Aspirants in Adidas and the latest Fila
With mostly heads of hair full of sheen

Dom ditches Terry from the housing estate
Bonding with the feared usual suspects
Heading the leading crew in the city
One can’t help but warm to Suzy and Bex

Soon Dom can’t escape the spiked glitz
His parents helplessly watch his demise
At odds with Bex's bully lieutenant Trigger
Snared Dom struggles with his goodbyes

"Watch your back - gonna slit you open like an envelope!"
On the mean streets storms are brewing
Bex though flourishes on the savagery
Fixation with Yeti in due course brings his ruin

Bex’s demise proves it’s all a mugs game
Hooliganism no more the rampaging bull
Ken Bates called for electrified fences
To try control and pen the “animal

Families flocked as bloodshed became bygone
With Margaret Thatcher’s "War Cabinet" team
Hooliganism now dubbed The English Disease
Soon came Moynihan’s attempted ID card scheme

Inspired by Nick Love's - The Firm

Number 7
© Emdad Rahman
www.football-poems.com

Police, Camera action!

There are over 4,000 fixed Gatso speed cameras currently in use by police forces and local authorities across the UK, accounting for 90% of all fixed speed cameras. The Gatso which uses radar technology, is used for fixed speed cameras, in-car mobile units, on tripods and can even be used from moving vehicles.

Fixed Gatso speed cameras are rear facing. This is so the cameras 'flash' does not blind oncoming motorists. Unfortunately, this also means the cameras are not always viewable until the last second (as pictured above). The cost of installing a Gatso speed camera is approximately £20,000, but can cost as much as £40,000 if located in a rural location, as the system requires a 240v power supply.

The fixed Gatso camera has the ability to take up to 400 pictures. Cameras in that are located in busy areas or are particularly hidden, often only last a few hours before the film runs out, soon recouping the £20,000-£40,000 price tag.

Gatso speed cameras can also identify between cars/vans and HGVs separately. For example, if the speed limit was 60mph for cars/vans and 40mph for HGVs the camera will enforce the two separate limits.

It is common for fixed Gatsos to be positioned so they can be turned around to check both sides of the road - but only one direction at a time.

On the M25 in Berkshire and Surrey Gatso speed cameras have been placed in gantries across the width of the motorway with all four lanes covered simultaneously.

Points and Penalties

Being prosecuted in the UK by a Gatso speed camera can result in a minimum of 3 penalty points and a £60 fine. Fine amounts are currently under review by the government and may increase in near future.

Source: Speed camera UK

Sleepy on the jobby

Couldn't resist this potshot - Though was afraid He'd wake up and catch me shooting. Had to employ some (naturally) crafty footwork, coupled with nimble fingerwork and hey presto!

Mind you it was Ramadan, so the brother had good reason I guess. I was just worried he's get a ticket :)

Torrific!

London’s East End came out to greet
For a tricky trip to the Clarets Boleyn
Zola’s men not a force to take lightly
Reds would have to dig deep within

Torres Sanz knocked in a brace
With Dirk Kuyt again hitting the mark
Brave fight back from resilient West Ham
In a thriller at Upton Park

New boy Diamanti equalled first with two touches
In form Cole levelled before the interval
Poor Behrami again forced to retire
Clearly stifling a passionate bawl

Livid Redmen remonstrated the penalty
Happy Hammers kissed the club crest
Diamanti had touched the ball twice
But Marriner rejected all protests

Pulsating game settled in the last quarter
Another pillaging Johnson raid
Babel chipping, deft, delicate and precise
El Nino laps up the accolade

Travelling Kop once again break voice
"We bought the lad from sunny Spain”
Stands heave with away fan enchantment
“He gets the ball and scores again"

20.09.09 - West Ham 2-3 Liverpool

Number 7
© Emdad Rahman
www.football-poems.com

Ramadan: An MOT for the Good of Britain

By Emdad Rahman
IOL Correspondent - UK

Full article - www.islamonline.net

The month of unadulterated focus, patience, understanding, generosity and reflection.

With open arms we welcome back an eagerly anticipated and much required guest. The joyous occasion of Ramadan is once again with us. Like all previous Ramadans, I hope to celebrate, enjoy and experience a very eventful month. I carry on as usual during this month, but focus on increasing my worship and remembrance of Allah.

Ramadan is like an MOT and service for Muslims. It is a period to regain focus and set new targets.

I strongly believe that Muslims at work and study should not use Ramadan as an excuse for slackness. After all, here in the UK we have a grand evening to look forward to. What I am stressing here is that in a lot of areas of the world our fellow Muslim brethren are not so fortunate. Due to their economic and welfare status, fasting is an every-day-reality for many. It is a magical month, a deeply spiritual period that promotes ?just like the Hajj? a sense of togetherness not felt during any part of the year.

Ramadan With Beloved Ones

Broadcaster and writer Nabila Pathan is looking forward to Ramadan with great anticipation; “Without a doubt, Ramadan for me is a real family and community event. For the past two years I have been sharing my Ramadan experience with the Muslim community in the South East of London, by hosting a live drive time show on Ramadan Radio. It was probably the largest number of people I have ever shared my Ramadan experience with!"

Nabila Pathan, who blogs at Wordplay, believes that Ramadan is a time of reflection and contemplation; “when you get to share your stories it comes to life. Therefore, I make it a point to always break my fast amongst family and friends."

“Not only does the shared experience keep the momentum of why we are fasting alive but it is a time that brings you closer to beloved ones, in a world that is increasingly busy and fast paced."

Ramadan's Charity

Imam Ilyas is a law student and leads Jumu`ah Prayers at the Al Aqsa Mosque in London’s Canary Wharf. An experienced Imam, the 29-year-old spoke to IOL, “I am leading the Tarawih Prayer for my growing congregation in our part of London."

Ilyas, who is teaching tafseer and hadith at a local institute, is spending a large part of his Ramadan engaged in TV fundraising for charities that support the helpless.

“Ramadan is an opportunity for us to encompass ourselves with the blessings of Allah. It is a time for giving and helping the needy. For British Muslims, this is an opportunity for us to share the best of our faith with the wider community. I would advise all Muslims to increase their worship during this bountiful period.”

A Training Ground

Imam IlyasLike many UK Muslims, Rahima Begum views Ramadan as a “training ground” for the year to come – “It is the month where all if’s and but’s are set aside and self control is exercised."

Begum is the Co-Director ofRestless Beings– a charity dedicated to alleviating suffering amongst children and families, including child prostitution and malnutrition.

She describes Ramadan as the month of unadulterated focus, a month of “patience, understanding, generosity and reflection.”

This will be the second Ramadan Rahima will observe devoid of the presence of her beloved father who passed away a year ago; “I will spend a lot of crucial time during Ramadan praying in abundance for him and his life in the hereafter and fulfilling the charities duties he carried out when he was around."

With no time off work, Ramadan to Rahima also means exerting self control - controlling her temper when being shoved like sardines in a tin on the central line; “this is an opportunity to communicate the essence of why I am fasting to inquisitive non Muslim colleagues and encouraging them to appreciate the importance of spirituality and Islam in ones life."

Greetings From Downing Street

Addressing Britain’s Muslims Prime Minister Gordon Brown has given his sincerest best wishes for the holy month of Ramadan.

Speaking from Downing Street, the PM said we should “celebrate the diversity that contributes to Britain’s strength” and “consider the contribution of Islam not just to Britain, but to the world”.

The PM also praised the huge contribution that Muslim’s have made to “our prosperity, our society and our culture”.

Muslims & Britain's Success

Ramadan teaches patience and humility, and reminds us of our shared moral universe; our obligation to others.

The message of empathy for the less fortunate is reflected in Ramadan by the daily fast. And Ramadan’s message of compassion and social justice spreads beyond Muslim communities; it speaks of shared values that unite us all.

The hadith of the Prophet Muhammad emphasise the duty of care we owe one another. So during this special month, let us also celebrate the diversity that contributes to Britain’s strength.

Muslims make a huge contribution to Britain’s success ? to our prosperity, our society and our culture. And of course, Ramadan is an opportune time to consider the contribution of Islam not just to Britain, but to the world: Islamic art, science, and philosophy have enriched our lives over many centuries.

The BIG IFtar event attended by thousands

Stars from the hit TV show, The Apprentice, teamed up with IF charity and other aid organisations including The Salvation Army and Thames Reach, to share a Ramadan IFtar meal (breaking of the fast) with London’s homeless.

Over 1200 people from all communities attended the event called ‘The BIG IFtar’, in East London’s Altab Ali Park to raise awareness about homeless communities around the world.

Former Apprentice celebrities, Tre Azzam, Shazia Wahab, Majid Nagra and Syed Ahmed donned their aprons and chef hats to help serve large quantities of biryani (rice and chicken), prepared for over 1000 local homeless people.

Local MP George Galloway and Baroness Pola Uddin spoke at the event, alongside the Leader of Tower Hamlets Council, Lutfur Rahman.
George Galloway said, “The BIG IFtar was a great way to recognise the plight of homeless people in our very own city. I am happy to support any future plans IF has to help the homeless in this Borough in particular the idea of providing food every Friday for the homeless in conjunction with many of the restaurants of Brick Lane”
Kathleen Isaac from Thames Reach highlighted the plight of homeless people in the borough with contributions also from Rizwan Hussain(Channel S) and Ajmal Masroor(Islam Channel).

Other Ramadan delights dished up by caterers Pride of Asia, on the day included samosas, pakoras, Indian sweets and an exotic fruit salad. The meal was served at sunset with several members of the homeless communities took to the stage to say a few words.

Entertainment continued throughout the evening with exclusive live performances from artists including Muslim hip hop group, Mecca2Medina, Khaleel Muhammad, Labbayk, Muslim Belaland British stand-up comedians,Prince Abdi and Jeff Mirza.

The event was part of the IFtar 10 000, “Around the World in 10 IFtars” campaign which continues in Bosnia, Palestine, Iraq, Afghanistan, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Kashmir, Somalia and Sudan until the end of Ramadan.

Yoss Do It! - Liverpool 4-0 Burnley

Where is Traore yelped the Claret
Yossi put their boys through the rinse
Dirk cracked one for good measure
With a cross shot and two tap ins

Rare off day for the great bear
Jensen huffed, puffed and flapped
Stalwart Alexander laboured
New boys were clinically zapped

Power play with exhuberance
Gerrard returned to the fray
No blots to mark this walk in the park
For what proved to be Yossi’s day

Liverpool 4-0 Burnley

Number 7
© Emdad Rahman
www.football-poems.com

Iftar in the park

Emdad Rahman

London Bangla reporter Toyris Miah is inviting everyone in sharing Iftar this Ramadhan. “The event that my friends and I have organised is an Iftar, (the evening meal that breaks each day's fast during Ramadhan), which will take place in a public park,” he said.
Everyone is welcome to attend the event, regardless of age, race or religion.

The fundraiser is on behalf of Muslim Aid, to raise money for those who will be affected by the harshness of the up-coming winter and other disasters in developing countries all over the world.

Toyris added; “We hope that everyone will attend our picnic with a twist. It allows an open environment for people to learn from each other, network and most of all; to understand each other.
“To this day, people’s religions, traditions and ways of life are still not understood. Unfortunately these misconceptions lead to prejudice that may create animosity; we want to encourage community cohesion.”
The organisers will be holding a Samosa competition to see who really does make the best Samosa. “If you would like to enter then please bring 3 of the same Samosas with you on the day,” said Toyris. “For example, 3 chicken Samosas, 3 lamb Samosas or 3 veg Samosas.”

Participants can enter any type of Samosa as long as the ingredients are Halal.

Also taking place will be a charity auction at the event for various different items, which have kindly been donated.

If anyone is interested in sponsoring the event by offering financial support or by donating anything, from some napkins to some food to share with guests, then they can get in touch with Toyris.

Also in attendance will be Nasheed singers and weather permitting, it is hoped that Taraweeh prayers can be performed in congregation.

Attendees should bring:
• Food for Iftar
• Picnic blanket to be used as prayer mats as well
• If possible a camping light or torch.

Event Details

Time: 6:00pm - Late

Date: 5th September

Price: FREE! Bring your own food

Venue: Higbury Fields, N5

Contact Details: 07833393508 e-mail: toyrismiah@googlemail.com