Tales from the bar

Frozen and thawed forever in the cold
They’ve smacked me with no mercy
Watched many a shooter offload
Not a slight hint of an apology

Hursty once spun and thumped me
Just one of millions of kicks
Football came to a standstill
Through my mischief in sixty six

Public gasp as the communal heart clogged
Somewhere in the region of a week
I spluttered and split my spleen
Whilst the nation held back a shriek

My merriment abruptly came to a cease
Spoilt by that man Tofik’s shrill whistle
An historic intervention indeed
One with the gale force off a missile

There’s been many moments of humour
Chiefly when Phil Babb played slide rule
Poor sod just couldn’t apply the brakes
As I gleefully thwacked his crown jewels

Nevertheless, a great comic moment
Agony etched all over his face
Or was it just a smirk or grin?
No, very much a painful grimace

Did you know that I have many friends?
All within footballing showbiz
Yashin, Banks, Maier, Schmeichal
Then there’s Higuita and Barthez

An old friend would hold me and tell me his woes
And bawl me when protecting his fort
Thus Dino held out for a record 13 games
With the Zoff I had a unique rapport!

I once gobbled up a knights belter
One who partnered mighty king Kev
An ever ready and suave gentleman
Better known now as Sir Trev

They kiss, hug, headbutt and shine me
Some even tap me thrice for good luck
A big no, no once during panto season
As Fatty Foulkes played Friar Tuck

With netside cams much unwelcome
Andy Gray has become an intrusion
Final Word technology has put paid
To my much valued one time seclusion

Number 7
© Emdad Rahman
http://www.football-poems.com/