Public get bum deal from bog standard loo facilities

Emdad Rahman

It’s time to once again raise a relevant and very pertinent point of discussion- something that has annoyed me for a good number of years.

This is most certainly not an optical illusion and for the record I would like to clarify that I have not spent the last seven days trying to escape through the main sewage pipe in Shawshank prison. The ghastly pictures you see on this page are real, not from Thomas Hewitt’s abattoir den in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre –For the record, Leatherface has not converted to Islam and had a reminiscing slasher flashback moment on the bog either, but they are from a true blue bonafide Tower Hamlets Masjid.

When I stepped inside this one I felt like a surviving soon to be crazed fiend from 28 days later. I shuddered, held my breath against the nerve gas, half expecting a rabid zombie with a bloodcurdling scream to shoot out from the pan and lunge for my throat, waiting for the inevitable moment when I would be joining the grotesque hordes in Danny Boyle’s gore flick.

The first thing I noticed was the obvious hygiene, dirt, grime, and permanent brown stains that would require an industrial strength Pumice Scouring Bar to even tickle, ;et alone remove.
If it’s a service station, school, office, and in this case a Masjid you’re guaranteed to find a yellow stained dripping backside seat. After being party to some horror scenes one would be forgiven for assuming that the intoxicated club revellers union had held a covert meeting at the premises the night before. With not a mop in sight for a DIY cleansing job, worshippers will find themselves reading book of the month in a smelly yellow puddle before wiping their footwear with their pocket Kleenex. I have also observed those of a nervous disposition, exiting the loo whilst biting their fingernails, obviously forgetting to wash hands first. Others may open wide the door, peer poignantly at the john, sigh loud and deep before flushing and making their way to the ablution area. I blame this forgetfulness on the trauma placed on the personal self by a dirty, germ ridden and unclean toilet, which reminds me of a notice I once saw in an East London Masjid - “Toilet out of order, pleased use floor below.”
Everyone on our great green universe has to have used a public toilet during some point of their existence. What haunts and is a source for nightmares for me is trying to work out why some people feel it is heir mission in life to urinate over the seat, and then leave the said seat unwiped as a semi permanent momento – A little “I WOZ ERE” etch. Don’t laugh – the hands that clean these toilets also prepare your lunch, so next time be seated and aim properly.

You need to have no forensic experience to conclude that it’s always the men folk that indulge in these artistic and creative practises, and I know of more than one person who will go to great lengths to discreetly use the female WC to simply retain their hygiene sanity.

Snuggling tissued seat covers or wet wipes are convenient and enterprising ideas, though not the best option. How many readers have actually been able to securely land or upend their derriere on a tissue proof toilet seat .
“Cleanliness is half of faith...” reports the Hadith reported by Abu Malik at-Ash'ari. Purification is an absolute privilege and the attention to hygiene in Islam is unmatched. Whilst some may say it is a desirable attribute, Islam insists on it, making it an indispensable fundamental of faith.

Cleanliness is an essential part of Islamic life and in fact the meaning and spirit behind the concept of cleanliness is much beyond the superficial concept of the conventional cleanliness.

I implore the respected Masjid Committees to invest a very small chunk of the huge TV appeal revenue you earn during Ramadhan and invest in long overdue facilities. What use is youer beautiful tgranquil carpetr if half the worshippers are entering the prayer area in an unclean state. Surely the committee must accept some responsibility and admit to gross negligience.

The committees and Masjid bigwigs owe it to your worshippers and the general public to provide visitors with clean premises, toilets and sanitation. After all, worshippers attend the Masjid to cleanse their mind, body and spirit. Your bumbling mismanagement and lack of attention to detail is frankly offensive.

Volunteers are fine, but this is the modern day, and Masjids must start employing full time /part time cleaning personnel on a rota basis. Only then might we expect a proper jug instead of an Evian bottle, maybe even some tissue paper and wait for it… soap.

Just one last thing - When visiting the Masjid loo Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the performance.