Let's talk Police

I want to talk Police - Vehicle, £30.000. Uniform £1000, the look on their faces when you string three English sentences together? PRICELESS...

Today I had to call an officer of the low over after getting riled as he sniffed around my car for no particular reason. "Here mate, you want a clearer look?" I offered and opened my boot, stuffing in my newly purchased footballs and a basketball. The heat wasn't helping as right away the pong from my sweaty gym bag diffused the immediate vicinity.

Embarrassed, he said "no!" and pointed to the corner of my front number plate that had peeled off. "Bravo!" I hollered.

Two years ago I was stop searched on the Roman Road by three amateurs that were far better off in a "Carry On" movie. I told them that they were a total embarrassment to the blue brigade and added that I was not the least bit reassured by their Mötley Crew presence.  For a lot of these guys their IQ levels are well below par. Maths and Science doesn't matter but common sense and people skills do. A lot of these guys are simply out of touch, like their bosses and really struggle to carry out basic interaction on a day to day level. 

Many don't know how to effectively police either. Today, beggars were causing a commotion outside Tesco but priorities come first - My number plate corner was loose.  "Do us a favour and get a proper job," I muttered as I drove off.